Liberating. I once used that word to describe your love.
With it gone, I felt the opposite of free. I could barely leave the apartment. When I did, I was still trapped in my head where peaceful confinement did not exist. The worst part is, it consumed me… I could not breathe without hurting. I looked, but did not see. I would awaken, but unconscious. Basically, I could not function without some part of me feeling debilitated. It was painful. A pain that required me to meet the floor on my face because getting up now felt like falling down. On my knees, face to the floor, I literally couldn’t get any lower. But it was required. To be freed from everything, I had to find the only thing that could free me.
“At my lowest I found my strength.”
I’ve always loved God, but in that moment I began to know Him in a way like never before. His spirit gained power against my mind and revealed so much. I knew I was trapped in brokenness. It was like debris piled up in my soul and I couldn’t find my way out of it. I was literally a mess. But this debris were pieces of me, so to clear it up it couldn’t just be removed. Instead, it had to be recycled, re-purposed to use again. God began to use it all to build something more beautiful than before.
God takes His time. It’s precious material He’s handling, so even though He was working there were still moments I felt trapped. I needed His strength to endure it. In those moments, I learned even greater what it meant to Trust God. Everyday, He reminded me to count it all joy because that’s when I was supplied strength.
Now, when I breathe, I smile. When I look, I see. When I awaken, I live.
Even though I’m still a construction zone, I no longer feel trapped inside myself, but I feel free to become who I am. Only a perfect love could have made that possible.
Liberating. I now use that word to describe your love.
“God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out” 1 Corinthians 10:13
Star Ingredient: Perfect Love
