It’s Sunday morning and before I even open my eyes, I smell the combination of mustard and turnip greens cooking on the stove, bacon frying, and I find my senses playing the guessing game trying to figure out the rest. While my mom preps this real life feast before church, she also has a hot breakfast ready.
“What will it be it today?” Banana nut bread? Pancakes? Blueberry Muffins?…Biscuits? Oh, I used to love them warm buttermilk biscuits with some good ole grape jelly. Yes, grape jelly! Mom never bought fruit preserves. I honestly did not even not know what a preserve was, but how ironic. I’ll explain the irony.
It all started when I was dead.
“Anything not Growing is Dead”
When I said I felt that on a spiritual level, I meant it. I was dead and it wasn’t all of a sudden. It was a slow and gradual death, so I didn’t even feel it. Well, not until I was met with an electric shock. Volts of energy hit my body and I felt pain, sadness, brokenness, and hurt. Times were not easy, but they were glorious. The glorious thing is God has the power to resurrect and He did. When He shook things up, out of it sprung discovery and re-discovery of myself, I began to understand the power of God in a whole new way, and I began to grow again.
Growth is beautiful, but it will be met with tests. And no matter how prepared you are for those tests, some can make you feel unqualified – causing fear.
Let me tell you about fear, it had me going through for a second. Am I going to graduate? (long story… don’t even ask) Where am I going to live? How am I going to pay my car note? Who is going to hire your girl? All these unanswered questions were not preserving me, but just preserving fear. When I allowed fear to creep in, I went into self-preservation mode – something that really does not exists. I mean fruit preserves aren’t just preserved in themselves. And fear wouldn’t go away either. It was like this extra, unnecessary additive – when all I needed was just one ingredient. Just that One. I needed some pectin.
Pectin is that one additive that thickens the preserves and holds it together – My God!
Preserve my life from fear of the enemy
I just needed that One! I had to answer the call to humility and realize apart from God I really am nothing.
Now, the most glorious thing is, He is keeping me alive. I’m alive on this Sunday Morning. I smell no bacon, and there are no buttermilk biscuits or jelly…But, I got preserves.
